Let me reintroduce: Rick and Morty.

My primary problem with fiction in general, and the reason I like re reading Douglas Adams every year after my Austen binge, is I always feel rules are forced when they don't need to exist at all. It's fiction for goodness sake. This is why, when my hipster boyfriend introduced me to a relam of completely inane and stupid cartoons I jumped on them and loved them in a way I never anticipated, given that I studied Latin and Middle English and French Theatre. What I'm saying, lovely human reading my words is that you might find you really like these despite being a grown up sensible person.

In an alternate universe I am a heavily tattooed Bettie Page lookalike who owns a cinema. Every Thursday morning I show adult cartoons and a stupid but generally awesome collection of late night TV shows for people who, like me, enjoy switching almost every part of their brain and personality off and indulging in the ridiculous. I'm aware a lot of my audience will be pot smoking teens and twenty somethings but my hope is that some adults longing for a couple of hours of freedom from the policy analysing that was meant to be a gateway job and has slowly taken over their lives will trudge in, wearing their black, fake, and ugly Prada shoes, cast off their rain jacket and enjoy pretending they don't have better things to do.

Welcome to my Thursday morning theatre. Today you'll be binge watching...

This is a Dan Harmon/Justin Roiland creation. That's basically one of the greatest TV writers and one of the most interesting voice actors coming together. These are young un's who grew up with eons of established TV and pop culture to draw from. As a result they've developed a winning formula for nerds of any generation albeit one that can get really silly at times. 

 (That's them. That's what they look like. Harmon's the sexy one.)

The vibe is that of the best of those shitty eighties movies (hello Weird Science) with the best of the cartoons of the nineties. As a serious person- I realise I'm losing you here. You're comfortable with The Simpsons... you'll maybe stretch to Futurama but this might be a step too far. Ah but don't pretend you don't have a really good sense of humour. I'm well aware there are those of you out there walking round offices telling your collegues you are FIVE SPICE . 

One of the best things about Rick and Morty is its insane lack of rules. It doesn't force you to get annoyed at the lack of logic behind certain episodes because of it's 'doye of course that's highly problematic; that's the thing about science- it's really freaking complicated' attitude. I mean, I'm a Dr Who fan from way back but the liberal use of deus ex machina in that show drives people up the wall. I think this plagues all serious television, no matter how brilliant it can be on occasion. In Rick and Morty, any critque of like 'Um that doesn't work' is basically addressed in the show. 'We know this doesn't work just bloody enjoy the aweome space travel ffs'

The characters are, as you'd expect from the guy who created Community, just short of steroptypes but they are engaging none the less. We follow the eponymous grandpa and grandson team as they travel across universes for adventures. The parents of Morty are in a classic hot unfullfilled mum/deadbeat dad relationship but it's not as awful as that sounds. You feel like every episode they sort of learn a lesson but it doesnt one hundred per cent sink in- like the perfect balance of an after school special and It's always Sunny in Philidelphia.

This is all on youtube so you don't have to fuck around with finding a streaming link. You also don't have to flip through TV guides and endless channels on the off chance it might actually screen somewhere. The show deals with some pretty serious shit so don't watch it with your kids ffs. They're too little to realise how freakin hilarious destroying the world, smashing up frozen bullies, and incepting sexy pleasure dream chambers is. Also; you might be too mature. But probably you're not, and I'm sort of judging you for your lack of respect for the genre you if you are.  

Aight. Here's the link. 

Next week we review The Regular Show. Yep thats a kids show but you will enoy it for the same reasons you enjoy the above. We will NOT be watching Adventure Time. We're grown ups for heavens sake. 

Ciao, 

M

You should want this.

Otherwise known as I want this and actually please don't buy it because I'm worried that then there will be none left for me; this regular feature is where I use my superior interior decoration skills to make you covet things you don't need. 

I can't pinpoint when it hit but but suddenly my careful budgeting for clothes has gone out the window as Home Decor of all things has become an obsession. I mean, I'm getting seriously excited about sheets and throw pillows. Throw Pillows. Is this what adulthood looks like? A bunch of beautiful furniture spilling out of your tiny one bedroom place? That still, for god knows what reason, cost you your life savings? Or is it just me being the materialistic bitch I always have been and pretending I'm not by throwing my hands up and screaming “I'm just a creative, you know? I'm so wildly aesthetic- I can't control it!”?

So in this weeks edition of things I shouldn't be spending money on because nice shelving and comme des garcons dresses are not going to keep me warm when I'm old and can no longer moonlight as a waitress, we'll be looking at lighting. Specifically this lamp from ikoiko (available online or in store at blah blah blah Cuba St, K Road...).

I don't know the average price of a lamp but I'm sure you can get one for less than this one costs at Briscoes. That would be a failure on you behalf, but I'm not going to judge. Some people were born to do accounts and follow politics and some people were born to spend too much money on a lamps. It looks like your crafty neighbour could knock it out in his shed for no money whatsoever. That's what I like about this sort of industrial chic. It looks like maybe, if the carpentry genes of my forefathers had appeared anywhere in my psyche, I could make something just as fabulous as this but given that it already exists I don't need to. I'm sure there's a moral point there about supply and demand and the degredation of society but I suspect your brain will be as good if not better than mine at phrasing it. 

Ciao,

M

Style Watch: Prime Minister edition.

 With fewer and fewer women being at the head of Government (and why should they be? After all 'it would be folly to expect that women will ever dominate or even approach equal representation in a large number of areas ... because their aptitudes, abilities and interests are different for physiological reasons'.) I'm running out of ways to discuss their style and assess whether they have achieved the correct level of stress to look their hottest. Thus, as progress dictates; we must crash through the glass ceiling and begin to examine our politicians style in spite of their genetalia. And so, withough further discussion, let us commence with todays Style Watch.  

They're both your typical antipodean Prime Ministers; recceding hairlines, mildly (or not so mildly) racist views, daughters (so they can't be sexist!). We know how their politics work but are we engaging with the real issues?  Tony vs John- which PM is in the running for Minister of Style?

                    MAKING A SPEECH

I'm not going to deny you this one, Australia. Abbott's tie is clearly the snazzier of the two. Diagonal stripes as all politicians should know suggests taking a stand on something without ruling out the publics plebby point of view.  However, John's ubiquitous navy suit and his causal stance mark him out as a true man of the people- something Tony is really struggling to achieve, as pictured.

HAWT? Or NAWT?
Tony-: 7/10 You can't deny the style here. The suit in classic black commands attention and the props department deserve a round of applause for their use of the Australian flag.Patriotisim never goes out of style. HAWT

John- 5.5/10 There's nothing wrong with a suit and tie for making a speech, John Boy, but next time call a tailor in, hey? And consider a tie that isn't a blend of red and blue. Sends a weird message. NAWT

COOKING (an important skill for PMs)

Side bar for a second... this is actually the first pircture that comes up of John Key when you search for John Key casual. I think thats makes quite a salient point about the everyday lives of New Zealander's but I'm too lazy to phrase it wittily, dearest friends, so feel free to add your own satire in the comments.

Anyway hands down John has this in the bag. The man not only looks better, but he's cooking like a real kiwi bloke cooks. Abbott  hasn't even bothered to wear the correct    uniform. I know people who'd      be getting verbal warnings for that.

HAWT or NAWT?
Tony- 4/10 It seems like underneath the suit he's just a blue shirt and ears. A tie or a watch migth distract from his problem areas- things to consider! NAWT

John- 7.2/10 Nothing makes you look quite as working class as having a beer while Prince William cooks you a steak. HAWT

CHILLIN OUT MAXIN RELAXIN ALL COOL.

Here Key demonstarates a vertical plank, as I vivdly remember from the headline when this story broke memes ago in 2013. I am so disgusted by the idea of this I'm giving it to Abbott regardless.

HAWT OT NAWT?
Tony- 10/10 Whoar. Top ten sexiest politicians of 2014? I'll file a complaint if Abbott dont win. HAWT

John - Not yet Rated. I'm still grumpy that this made the papers and even grumpier that I'm covering it now. I've become part of the problem.

THE 'O' FACE

 I'm not going to rate this. Politicians making these faces publicly is juvenile and inappropriate. How do they expect us to take them seriously if they insist on bringing sex into politics? I'm diappointed in both PMs here.

 

Ciao,

M

PS Not one of the above images is mine. You can find them all on this handy site.

Mission Statement

Behind every successful business is a bloody excellent Mission Statement. This we know to be true; and so I ask you, dear reader, what earthly point would there be in starting a makeup and style blog for the intelligent pleb living in Wellington withought my very own?

This exists to satircally and sartorially enhance the depressing lives of those living in our bleak period of History, stuggling with the daily battle of existential thought vs practicality. The camera work will be below par, the writing sub standard, the language barely decent and the reviews limited by my pitiful salary.

Ciao,
M.